Well, gentle parenting didn't come to naturally.
It came to me after a lot of angry behaviour, regret, and a feeling that I was repeating childhood patterns. It all started when my son was 2, and I was yelling at him for something so trivial where he ended up going to the bed and sniffing and crying.
That visual is something I still remember today , but that was the day I was determined that " I need to change." I didn't like the angry, emotionally abusive parent I was becoming.
I was raised in a strict household, where love was there so was fear. I really didn't have any example of respectful parenting that I had observed while growing up except for my friends in my college life. They were sensible , sorted and had the most beautiful relationship with their parents. Where there was no fear. Where they were respected even if they were younger.
I liked that. I wanted to be that.
But, I found myself failing every alternate day.
I also was diagnosed with PMDD around the same time. I was recovering from Postpartum Depression, and we had a two major moves around that time, worst of all Covid hit.That made it worse, and I was scared my PPD was coming back
I got into therapy and that changed my life. Turns out I was doing nothing but mothering all day. I had lost myself, and I didn't even know what I liked. That was the beginning of my self growth journey.
It been 5 years and I feel happy to say, my monster mom days are over.
I have learnt to respect my child.
I have to learnt to accept no for an answer.
I have started seeing my child as an individual.
Most importantly, I feel like my parenting ego has been put to rest.
It took me years to get here. It doesn't mean I am a perfect mom and I have no bad days. I do, but its not like it used to be anymore.
So, here's a message for you- If you feel like a shitty mom, and have a lot of angry days, ask yourself are you doing anything for yourself? If you have anger issues , how are you working on it?
Whatever you plan to do, make sure you are consistent.
Feel free to leave your experiences as comments.
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